I get out of bed and know that doing a little writing and having a cup of tea may help calm me down, so that is what I am doing.
So what should I write about...how about some of the thoughts that where consuming my mind that I just had to get out of my bed. First there is the planning everything for Thanksgiving, going over all my recipes in my mind and making sure I have everything, what pots & pans I need to get together to take over too may father n laws house. Secondly there is the just lingering sadness that has been welling up in me this week, the first Thanksgiving & My first Birthday without my mom in my life. The sadness I am still dealing with.
Seriously, I know grief is a hard road to travel through and I am glad I have things to keep me busy, I just want to stop hurting, and for it to be a little easier. I don't have that getting kicked in the chest feeling everyday, but this week has been especially hard, and I am doing the best I can to get through it in a positive and healthy way. I watch my drinking and I only medicate when I am a blubbering mess. I know I am handling everything well, just some nights it is so hard to just turn off the thoughts.
So I will make another cup of tea and listen to some music, right now It Florence & the machine Live at Abbey Road. I really need to get to bed soon, I have alot of baking to do tomorrow for Thanksgiving. But I feel better already, just getting some of this crap out of my mind.