Friday, September 28, 2012

October is Coming...

October is coming...I have so much in my brain to write down and alot to reflect about. Waking up this morning I could feel October approaching.The crisp air, The calmness. The Holidays coming up. My mother's fave time of year as well. It is very fitting that on Oct 1st, I should be receiving the shipment of her belongings. I have not been able to write about the day we spread her ashes. But I will. I am feeling better, I am dealing with the Grief, I still have my spells of crying. I am still sad, but I know it will get better. I have alot to keep me busy. I cook and care for my elderly father n law, husband helps too. That keeps us busy. But for myself I have been painting. It feels good to be accomplishing something creative right now. I listen to at least 6-8 hours of music everyday, more so than I ever have before. I rarely turn on the TV anymore. (I have a few shows I like,but I just watch them on demand when I feel like it) I love to relax and watch a good movie though. Some of my friends say that I am spending too much time inside, but it is all that comforts me to stay home and be with myself, my emotions, where I can have a crying spell and not be in public. The other day I got upset in the grocery store when I saw a girl my age helping her mom around the store. It just brought me back to the last time I was with my mom, helping her around...and not being able to do that anymore. It is sad...but my hubby, my step daughter and myself...we have all lost our mothers in untimely ways. Out of everyone I know, they know what I am feeling and I don't have to say anything they silently understand.

Everyday is different, Everyday brings different emotions. 
I have to take it one day at a time. 

Today I am trying to finish cleaning up my house and making room for mom's belongings. 
And trying to finish a painting I started this week, it is my version of a Vincent van Gogh's painting of Plum trees. Here is the original!

Here are 2 pics of the process of my version:
1-Background colors...may add more yellow? maybe?
2-Started tree over background
Still working on it, but will share when done!

(update) I added the small trees in the background last night and am working on them now!

(Painting Update 10/19/12)

Just finished the majority of this painting,need to add some calligraphy to the empty boxes. But overall done, and I am happy with it.


Smaybe said...

I love your painting! You are SO talented. I"m glad you are finding ways to work through the pain and grief you are feeling. Love you lots!!

Smaybe said...

I love your painting Melanie! You are SO talented. I'm glad you are finding ways to nurture yourself while you are grieving the loss of your mom. Love you lots!!

Melanie said...

thank you for your kind words Sarah~ I am about to finish this painting tomorrow!